This is so important.
In the wake of Jennifer Lawrence's stolen photos, I was very proud to see the internet community calling the leak what it is, a sex crime, and not placing blame on her for her autonomous decision to take these pictures for herself and those she chose to share them with. However, I was so disappointed and sad when reading her response. A lot of it was good, she said she didn't have to apologize and she absolutely doesn't. However, she stated that she was in a "loving, healthy great" long distance relationship and "either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he's going to look at you".
Reading this, my heart sunk. The message that sends to me is that I have to send my romantic partner naked pictures of me if I want him to stay happy with me. The message this sends to my boyfriend it's okay, normal, and necessary for him to look at pornography if I don't send him naked pictures. The message this sends to all the young women and men who look up to Jennifer Lawrence is so far from true and so detrimental.
I'm in a loving, healthy, great relationship, and it's long distance. I choose not to make naked pictures part of our relationship. And that's normal, that's okay, that's good.
Porn kills love. I found this campaign (fight the new drug) after a friend of mine posted about it, combatting the normalization of pornography. http://blog.fightthenewdrug.org/post/86544381321/porn-hub-vs-pornkillslove-a-leading-hardcore
This is not the first study I've seen on the harmful detriments of porn, but it was a powerful reminder. Porn rewires our brains to prefer things we see online and decrease our interest in physical intimacy. Looking at porn causes one's partner to feel like they're not enough, and causes the user to lose interest in what's real. It leads to infidelity, dissatisfaction, divorce. Not only that, but it damages satisfaction in sex and can lead to sexual dysfunction.
It's incredibly addictive and makes us want more, new, wilder fantasies. It destroys marriages, sex lives, spiritual health. Not only is it harmful to users, but it is heavily linked to trafficking. It's often the first step towards men normalizing sexual violence against women and a huge cause of demand for prostitution. And the porn industry is filled with abuses of drugs and violence to coerce actors into performing well. So many are coerced or participate in pornography against their will, which is something we should be as angry about as we are about Jennifer Lawrence's high-profile photo leak.
Viewing or struggling with pornography is not something I am unfamiliar with. I know how many people are affected by this- it's not something to be taken lightly and is a huge issue to overcome. At retreat last weekend, Lennon Nolan said that sin will always take you further than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you're prepared to pay. This is something I care deeply about as a feminist, as a human rights defender, as a Christian. Sin isn't something God keeps us from because he wants us not to have fun (he actually wants us to have a lot more fun...) but something that actually does hurt us. We lose out in so many ways by looking at porn and especially in our online world where porn is easier to access than ever before, we need to take a stand against it for our friends and the ones we love.
Christian, feminist, idealist, wife, poet, abolitionist, dreamer, adventurer.