And so does Elsa of Arendell. I don't know what this whole summer time sadness thing is about- summer is sunshine and less work and lots of good things- but winter definitely makes happiness harder. Cold definitely bothers me. Some say 1 in 20, some say 1 in 7, but a good number of Americans deal with Seasonal Affective Disorder. Seasonal depression for me often comes around with daylight savings time: darker colder nights earlier, shorter days and cold mornings make motivation scarce. Knowing that winter's going to be around till who knows, April, doesn't help. And given the amount of long distance close relationships in my life at the moment (parents in the Middle East, boyfriend in LA, brother in London, best friend in Arizona, big in Kenya), loneliness just feels harder when it's cold. I don't have people to cuddle with or my dad around to make me a fire and smother me in blankets. College is hard. In so many ways. Right now, I'm academically pressed in all my classes, from learning advanced grammar in a foreign language to literally crying over my gender and racism readings because of the amount of suck in the world to pushing my research skills in my research methods class and at my internship. It's hard being alone. Emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, it's just a hard stage of life. I mean, I guess most of life is pretty hard, but it's such a transitional time. You're away from everyone who's known you your entire life and are learning how to be independent. It can be hard financially, as time and resources are limited and deciding whether to buy all your books or warm enough clothes or good food is sometimes a real thing. I have come to understand the importance of taking breaks from diving into the suffering of others- not going to every documentary screening or following all the terrible news stories around the world is not ignorant or apathetic, it's sometimes healthy and necessary. This is hard when you're studying human rights and women's studies, or in other words, getting a degree in suffering and worldsuck. My class readings have been particularly demanding and depressing, compounded with SAD and the weather. Practicing self care is helpful. Getting a good meal, doing yoga, using a happy lamp, limiting social media time, cleaning your living space, working out- all things I know I need to do to feel better. There's plenty of things to be sad about, but the world is still beautiful. There's great things like tea and yoga and Enya and books and fire to help us get through winter. Mainly tea.
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Becca LambChristian, feminist, idealist, wife, poet, abolitionist, dreamer, adventurer. Archives
June 2018
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